The truth, my life now, what's next
07/12/2012 - 07/19/2012
As I was trying to figure out how to start this post, I realized that the only time on my entire Central America driving anything was in a kayak for a couple hours around Boca Brava, Panama. Although it is great to be able to get in my car and go when I want and where I want, I find myself spending less and less time looking out the side windows, except to check my blind spot. On my trip, most of my time was spent looking out of bus windows, over the side of a boat, on a walk in the jungle or just chatting with complete strangers. Now the law, safety and my environment is forcing me to look forward, to see what the next street is, the next plan, the next meal.
Don't panic, I have not left this Moment, and I hold on to that dearly but I am starting to find myself looking forward not around. It is a struggle to slow things down when they seem to be moving so fast. Maybe it is because I have been working lately, or maybe because I have been saying yes to almost anything anyone invites me to or maybe it's just because I like it that way.
Even though today, sadly, I finalized things so I will be in Denver until at least September, and it is not because I do not want to be here. And it is not because I am not looking forward to the weddings, family outings and dream concerts that will be going on...it's because I am thinking about all that right now and now looking around this apartment I am in, appreciating the touches my sister put into it. I think that is a lot about what this journey was about.
The truth is that is one of the reasons I haven't blogged for so long. I have been in the moment for sure, and have had some cool moments but between those times are daily routine, rut, news, facebook, noise.
Ok, why don't I slow down and think about what happened today I can reflect on. Started out with a pancake and some internet, took a nap as I didn't quite finish my sleep this morning. Met a friend for lunch, ate some mexican food and chatted. Was trying to waste some time before work, so I drove to Wal-mart then decided to get a Slurpee and my car wouldn't start when I got back in it. blah...blah....got car back....work was over...came home....blah. I can't say it was a bad day at all, and during that time I listened to some great music and had some fun thoughts but this is far from where I was a year ago. Well I don't need to recall because you can just read for your self. I almost cried a little tear of joy when I just switched over to actually see what post I did a year ago.
I know and always knew that I couldn't live that life forever but I have fought hard to hold on to the things I learned and at the same time, learn from the familiar places I'm in now.
I haven't told many people that I have started writing again so I was surprised and motivated when I saw 200 had checked out my first blog back so I promise to keep it going. I do have to say that it's comforting to be able to write again and I'm looking forward to keeping it straight from the top and honest.
Don't forget to check out my cousin's blog, show him some love.